What I Learnt from Europe

Ok, so the Blog hasn't been the roaring success I'd hoped. Shut up. Give me a break. I'm on friggen holidays! We've got 1 more night in London before the long trip home, so here's a little list of things Europe has taught me over the last month:

• Cobblestones are nice to look at, but a pain in the arse to walk on.
• There are ways to cook Pig that not even I knew about.
• They are all good.
• There is a dire shortage of non-streaky Bacon in Europe that Amnesty and the Red Cross should be investigating. I'm happy to donate money to improve their Bacon quality for next time.
• Train travel is a lot more spacious than in Australia. And than Air travel. And than cars.
• Doing a Masters degree whilst on holidays is a stupid idea.
• The mountain we climbed in Innsbruck is higher than Mt Kosciuszko.
• It is short compared to the other ones around it.
• This puts some stuff in perspective.
• A Funicular is a type of rail way system to go up a mountain.
• Justine is addicted to them.
• This is probably just cause she enjoys saying the word.
• I'm less taken with them.
• When you stand at the top of a ski jump and look down you realise it is a REALLY stupid sport.
• According to Mark Shearn, you only sound like a real German when you speak German with an effeminate accent.
• This appears to be true.
• As a result, I think you only sound like a real Parisian when you speak French with a judgemental, arrogant, stuck up tone.
• Adolf is a name that has fallen out of favour in Germany.
• There is LOTS of corn in Germany. Yet very little in the food.
• This is good, cause I hate corn.
• Beer comes in many shapes and sizes.
• It is all good.
• You can barely taste the anti-freeze in French wine now.
• Napoleon got a ginormous tomb erected in Paris surrounded by frescos of himself as emperor.
• The French do not seem to be keeping this tomb in mint condition for irony.
• This is disturbing.
• French military museums have a surprisingly small amount of places to hide.
• Beggars in Vienna come in the form of poor opera singers trying to get you to come to their concert.
• They get annoyed when you let them go through their whole spiel, and then take their pamphlet and say "I'll think about it."
• If you don't want to go to Oktoberfest, Munich can be a bit of a pain towards the end of September.
• Apparently there is a broader definition of the word "pillow" than I ever imagined.
• The models for Renaissance nudes make ME look well endowed. I'm not sure if this a reflection of the times or the size of the artists package.
• The Czech military band at Prague Castle have taken parade laziness to a new level by not even going outside, merely playing through a window. I can respect this.
• It is common to get separate beds in hotels.
• I can respect this.
• Don't listen to the name. Not everywhere in Europe uses the Euro as it's currency. It pays to know this BEFORE you rock up in Prague/Zurich.
• Whilst I love old buildings, I've grown a distaste for stairs.
• Some of the tourists that spend lots to go to West End shows do not speak English.
• Whilst I have no problem with this in principle, they should understand it is not an invitation to talk throughout.
• You can take your drink into the theatre in a plastic cup though, which is a plus.
• Getting around pretty much everywhere in Europe is a lot easier than any city in Australia.
• Maccas in Germany do not do Hash Browns for Breakfast.
• Qantas don't give you an upgrade because you write nice things about them on your blog.
• Yet.
• Doing a blog whilst on holiday is a lot harder than it looks...

Never let it be said I'm not open to education...

RaC